Vamptastic Cooking
by luvemmett
Summary: What happens when Emmett decides to host a cooking show in the Cullen house? Plastic Eggs, McDonalds, and vampires oh my!
1. What To Do?

**_A/N_**

**_Ok this story is back up and running! If you have already read the first few chapters, you might want to go back and re-read them - I did make some changes! Thanks for all the support and your long wait! _**

**_Summary: What happens when Emmett decides to host a cooking show in the Cullen house? Plastic Eggs and McDonalds and vampires oh my!_**

**_Disclaimer: Yupp I own twilight, you know it!_**

Chapter 1

What To Do?

BPOV

"Guys I'm bored," Emmett whined for the tenth time as Edward was flipping lazily through the channels on the TV.

"Well why don't you go do something?" I suggested sarcastically.

"There's nothing to do!" He sighed throwing his arms up in the air.

"Jeez chill out guys," Jasper said sending out wave after wave of calm.

Edward finally settled on a cooking show and threw the remote on the floor.

"Ok I'm dead bored too we need to do something," He said frowning.

"Well shopping is always an option...." Alice said smiling.

"Not happening,"

"Nope,"

"In your dreams,"

"Nota,"

"Fine," She huffed crossing her arms.

"Dude why do you always watch cooking shows? They are so bor-" Emmett started to say before he cut off.

"Emmett?" I asked staring at him with everybody else.

"That's perfect!" He shouted jumping up from his chair.

"No Emmett," Edward hissed pulling me into his lap.

"Aww come on party-pooper! Have a little fun!" Emmett said giving Edward what looked like pathetic puppy-dog eyes.

"Does anybody want to explain what's going on?" Rosalie said annoyed.

"We're going to have our own cooking show right here! And Bella can eat all of the food we make!" Emmett said excitidly.

"No Emmett," Edward growled.

"What's the matter with him wanting to cook?" I asked looking up at Edward.

"Have you ever seen Emmett cook?" He asked me.

"Uh no," I said glancing at Emmett.

"Exactly my point," Edward said.

"Ah come on Edward it will be fun!" Alice said jumping up and down.

"Then why don't you show me what's going to happen instead of blocking me out?" Edward hissed.

"Because that would ruin all the fun!" Alice said.

"Fine," Edward growled glaring at everybody in the room.

"Come on it can't be that bad," I said rubbing my hand up and down his arm trying to get him to relax.

"Oh yes it can be," He sighed giving up.

"Ok Bella here's how it's going to go. You and Edward will stay here while the rest of us go and get stuff to set up the kitchen into our own cooking show! And then we will be back in about 2 hours and then Emmett will cook for you first!" Alice said grabbing Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett hauling them out the door. "We'll be back soon!"

I shook my head as I heard the Porsche roar out of the driveway.

~2 hours Later~

"When will the others be back?" I asked toying with my shirt zipper.

"Right about now," He said as Emmett yelled through the house, "I'm HOME!!"

"I guess they're home," I laughed as Edward picked me up and carried me downstairs.

"Hey Bella!" Alice said carrying in a bunch of things.

"What all did you get?!" I asked my jaw dropping.

"Just the necessities," She answered before running out the door to grab some more things.

"Wow you guys are taking this to the extreme here," I said shaking my head.

"Ok Bella you and I are going to go get some different clothes on and the rest of you can set up the stuff!" Alice said scooping me into her arms and carrying me upstairs.

"Why do we have to change?" I whined. "It's just us!"

"Because I said so!" Alice growled at me.

"Fine," I pouted.

"You'll thank me later," Alice smiled as she started working on my hair.

She worked fairly fast an in an hour she was finished.

"All done!" She yelled as she carried me back down stairs.

"You know guys I do have two feet," I said as Alice set me down again.

"Two feet that move at the pace of a turtle," Emmett mumbled as I glared at him.

I finally looked at the kitchen and felt my jaw drop again. They had transformed the entire area into a cooking show type kitchen. There were seats for the audience, cameras at every corner, and food was covering every surface of the kitchen.

"You guys are crazy," I said sitting down in one of the chairs.

"That's why you love us!" Alice said bouncing up and down again.

"Mhm," I mumbled rolling my eyes.

"Ok now little sis," Emmett said turning towards me, "you get to sit in that chair right there!"

"Oh yay!" I said sarcastically sitting down.

"Aww come on Bella a little excitement would be nice!" Alice whined.

"What do you mean Alice?" I asked innocently. "Why wouldn't I be excited to eat god-knows-what?"

She glared at me as Emmett came into the kitchen area.

"Ok Bella I'm making you a cake but you can't look at what I'm doing till I'm done deal?" He asked looking down at me.

"Sure," I said unsure of how this cake was going to turn out.

Alice and Jasper were behind the cameras and Rosalie came to help Emmett in the kitchen. Edward came and sat down next to me to keep me company. Suddenly Alice started giggling from the corner. We all looked towards her to see what was going on.

"Nope not telling," She giggled.

Edward sighed - apparently she was blocking him out again.

"Oh this is going to be good," Alice muttered to herself as Edward came to sit by me.

I didn't even want to know what was going to happen because it couldn't be good. Edward and I listened to his Ipod for about and hour when suddenly we heard the timer go off.

"That'll be the cake!" Emmett said loudly.

Wow he was really excited for this cake. I started to turn around to see what disaster he had made but Rosalie came and blocked my view.

"Not yet Bella, he still has to frost and decorate it," She said grinning.

I didn't like where this was going.

"How big of a cake did you guys make me?" I asked hoping it wasn't a large one. "Because you know I won't be able to eat the entire thing."

"Oh that's ok we can save some of it for later!" Alice said playing with the video camera.

I sighed and leaned into Edward's chest. He played with my hair for another half hour until Emmett said that it was finished.

"Oh it's beautiful baby," Rosalie gushed. "But what is it?"

"Duh! Rose it's a cake!" Emmett said shaking his head.

I turned towards where they were talking and gasped, "Oh my gosh Emmett! What did you do?!"

**_A/N_**

**_Ideas?_**


	2. Cake Fit For A King

**_A/N_**

**_Hope ya like it :)_**

**_Disclaimer: And yet I still don't own it...imagine that!_**

Chapter 2

Cake Fit For A King

BPOV

I couldn't believe what I saw. Emmett was hold a monstrous plate in his hands that held something sort of like a cake. More like a bear though. Then it clicked. Emmett made a cake in the shape of a bear. Oh my god. I felt my jaw drop and I gasped.

"Bella!" Emmett whined. "I worked hard on this!"

"Sorry it just shocked me at first," I mumbled standing up to examine the cake.

It was a black grizzly bear - sort of. He had used candy for the paws, mouth, and tail. When I got to the eyes I felt my jaw drop. He had used not candy eyes but acutal toy eyes that looked like they had been ripped out from a doll.

"Uh..um Emmett where did the eyes come from?" I asked looking at the eyes again.

"From this!" He said proudly holding up a mutated stuffed bear.

"Oh my gosh!" I yelped and backed into Edward's arms. "You killed it!"

"I'd like to think of it as helping it out...it was a very ugly teddy bear," He defended the poor thing as he threw it in a corner.

I coughed and went back to looking at the cake. It was seriously started to creep me out.

"Do I have to eat it?" I whispered to Edward behind me.

"You wanted to do this remember?" He whispered back grinning.

"Bella I'm hurt!" Emmett frowned.

"You'll live," I said before turning back to the huge cake. "Is it safe Alice?"

"Not saying!" She giggled.

That can't be good. Oh boy, well I better get this thing over with.

"Somebody get me a fork then," I sighed walking up next to Emmett and the cake.

"Right here Bella," Jasper said smiling and handing me a fork.

I gulped and took a small piece of the cake and ate it. Then I gag and ran to the bathroom and threw it all up.

"Emmett!" I yelled coming back into the room. "What the heck did you put in there?!"

"Uh well that powder stuff that says cake mix on it. Plus the water, oil, and eggs," He said frowning trying to figure out why it was so bad.

"What is the colorful hard stuff then?!" I yelled again rinsing my mouth out with water.

"The eggs dummy," He said looking at me.

"Emmett eggs aren't colorful!" I said trying figure out what the heck he had put into this stupid thing.

"These are!" He argued back holding up a bag of plastic easter eggs.

I felt my jaw drop again. "You put easter eggs in the cake?!"

"Is that what kind these are? I was trying to figure out their name." He answered back looking down at the bag of eggs.

"Emmett!" I yelled causing him to jump. "Those are plastic! Your supposed to use regular eggs!"

"But Bella!" He whined. "Those are so boring! Who wants to eat brown or white eggs when you can eat these awesomely cool ones?"

"You've got to be kiding me," I mumbled as I sat back down at the table. I heard everybody laughing and I turned to glare at them.

"Fine Bella I'll go give this cake to the homeless people who will probably be glad for some food!" Emmett said stomping out of the door.

"He'll be back in 5,4,3,2,&1!" Alice said when Emmett came through the door.

"Ha at least somebody likes my cooking Bella!" Emmett said crossing his arms like a little kid.

"Ok moving on people," Rosalie said, "I'm next."

Rosalie was next. Oh boy that can't be a good thing.

"I have to go get my supplies and stuff so I'll be back in about...oh an hour or so," Rosalie said before grabbing her keys and walking out the door.

"So Alice what's Rosalie going to do?" Emmett said jumping on the couch and laying back.

"I don't know!" Alice answered frustrated. "She keeps changing plans so fast I have no idea what's going on!"

"That's not a good thing," Edward whispered to himself. I don't think I was supposed to hear.

"Well let's go do something I'm tired of sitting in this kitchen," I complained getting up.

"Ohh about about baseball?!" Emmett said hopping up from his seat.

"No Emmett," Edward growled.

"Why?!" He demanded. "It's thundering and lightning out!"

"So what," Edward muttered almost to low for me to hear.

"Exactly!" Emmett cried gleefully. "Let's go guys, I'm guessing Rosalie is going to be a while."

"Of course she will it's Rosalie we are talking about here," Alice said turning away muttering to herself. "Ok guys everybody go change and we are going to the clearing!"

Everybody rushed to different places around the house and started to get ready to play ball. I went upstairs with Edward to his bedroom where Alice had already laid out baseball outfits for us. Wow. I saw Edward shake his head before going into the bathroom to change. Once everybody was ready we ran out to the clearing. Well, they ran I just enjoyed the ride. I watched the game go on for a couple hours before Alice's cell phone rang.

"Hold up guys!" She yelled, "Timeout!"

"Yeah Rose what's up?" She answered her phone.

"K sweet we'll be back in 10," Alice snapped the phone shut and turned towards us. "She's back and she's already made your food."

"Ok let's go then," I said as Edward pulled me onto his back and started to run.

When we arrived back at the house the delicious smell of burgers hit me.

"Ew!" Emmett yelled walking into the house. "What the hell did you make Rosalie?!"

"A cheeseburger smart one," She answered setting a plate infront of me.

"It smells so good Rose!" I said grabbing the burger.

"It does?" Jasper stared at me with disgust.

"Yes it does," I answered back smiling.

Just as I about to start eating Carlisle appeared in the kitchen. "Why do I smell Mcdonalds?"

**_A/N_**

**_Reviews?_**


	3. Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

**_A/N_**

**_Everybody enjoying it so far?_**

**_Disclaimer: Not even possible..._**

Chapter 3

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

BPOV

Everybody looked at Carlisle.

"Say what?" Jasper said looking back and forth between Rosalie and Carlisle.

Rosalie was shifting nervously from one foot to the other. Carlisle just stared straight at Rosalie.

"Ok ok!" She yelled throwing her hands up in the air. "I did it! It's Mcdonalds!"

Everybody started laughing.

"Why," giggle "did you buy Mcdonalds?" Alice said laughing.

"Because I don't wanna get all nasty from cooking food!" Rosalie said fuming.

"It's ok Rose," I said laughing, "I still love Mcdonalds!"

"Really?" She asked looking up at me.

"Mhm!" I said as I took a big bite of the burger.

"Well that's good cause I got fries too!" Rosalie said pulling out a huge Mcdonalds bag.

"Yumm!" I said.

"Ew!"

"Nasty!"

"Bella your gross!"

"Thank you!" I said smiling as I ate the fries.

"Edward why don't you go next and make her some real food?" Jasper suggested.

"Not alot!" I said, "I don't wanna get to full!"

"Of course," He smiled back at me. "Now you go out with Alice and Rose and let me cook."

"YEAHSHOPPING+BELLACOMEONLET'SGOGUYS!" Alice yelled grabbing my arm.

"Ugh!" I groaned dragging my feet.

Edward gave me one last hug and I was pulled out of the door and into the Porsche.

Three hours, 15 shopping bags, and a full Porshe we were back at the house... and there was a delicious smell waffering outside. I ran up to the house and threw open the door only to be stopped by Jasper and Emmett.

"What the...." I said glancing behind me at Alice and Rosalie.

"Sorry Bella strict orders from Edward not to let anybody in," Jasper said still blocking the door.

"It's all good now guys! I'm done!" Edward shouted from the kitchen.

"Good timing Alice," Rosalie said before following me into the house.

"I know," Alice said shrugging her shoulders.

"I know whatcha cooked!" I said grinning.

"Oh really?" Alice said smiling.

"Are you talking about the crap he's cooking in there? Cause that's what it smells like!" Emmett asked wrinkling his nose.

"Emmett, it's delicious!" I protested.

"You haven't even tried it yet though!" He argued back.

"But, I know what it is!" I said grinning again. It sure did smell good.

"So what is it then miss-know-it-all?" He smirked.

"Veggie soup!" I said hopping up and down.

"And still hot!" Edward said comming into the livingroom with a small bowl of veggie soup.

"Told ya so!" I stuck my tounge out at Emmett.

"So try it and see if it's edible," He challenged.

I took a big swallow.

"Perfect," I said smirking at Emmett, who's grin faded off his face.

"Stupid perfect boy," He growled at Edward.

"Aww it's ok Emmett, your cake was uhh nice as well," I said finishing up the extremely good soup.

"Thanks Edward," I said putting my bowl in the sink.

"So who's up next?" I asked sitting down in the kitchen.

"That would be me," Jasper said getting up and walking out the door. "I'll be back in 30!"

"Oh he did not," Alice suddenly said laughing.

"Alice?" Rosalie said raising her eyes.

"I love that husband of mine," Was all she said before skipping upstairs to her room where she locked the door.

"Edward?" I asked looking up at him.

"I'm blocked, which means nothing good is going to come from this..." He replied worry etched across his forehead.

Just as promised Jasper returned 30 minutes later his arms full of goodies.

"Alright clear the kitchen minus Edward and Emmett," Jasper said.

"Jee thanks," Rosalie sneered as we left the guys to have their fun.

"So what to do?" I asked as we walked up the stairs.

"Umm I'm not sure let's ask Alice," She replied as we walked down the hallway to Alice's room.

Rosalie pounded on the door where we could hear music pouring out. No answer.

"ALICE CULLEN!" Rosalie screamed so loud I had to cover my ears.

Still no answer. Great.

"Alice I'm going to count to three... Une...Deux...Trois!" Rosalie counted in French.

Nothing. That did it, Rosalie broke her door down. Yup smashed it into countless pieces.

"Ohh Carlisle's gonna be angry," Alice said grinning on her bed. She turned the music off and got up.

"I can't believe you actually broke down the door. I really didn't think you would," Alice smirked.

"You knew I was going to?!" Rosalie said outraged.

"Of course," Alice replied now breaking out into a full fledged grin.

"Wait for it..." She whispered.

"What?" I asked glancing towards her smashed door as if something was going to happen.

"In five, four, three, two, and one..." She said.

Then I heard the explosion. And shouts of panic from Edward and Jasper.

"EMMETT!" Edward yelled.

"Where's the fire extinguisher?!" Jasper yelled and I could hear him running around downstairs.

Alice was rolling on the floor laughing and Rosalie was staring in shock with me at the door. Then we heard Emmett's big footsteps on the stairs.

When he came into the room Rosalie and I lost it.

"Emmett! Oh my gosh what happened to you?!" Rosalie gasped still laughing.

"The stupid stove blew up in my face!" He growled angrily.

He was completely black, and his hair was fried.

"I like the new look Em," Alice said giggling.

"What happened here?!" Carlisle's voice echoed through the house.

Then everything was quiet. Carlisle and Esme were back.

.

**_A/N_**

**_Review = smilees!_**


	4. Busted

**_A/N_**

**_Last chapter guys! _**

**_Disclaimer: You know I'm just gonna claim Emmett, you guys take the others k?_**

Chapter 4

Busted

BPOV

".." Esme's voice echoed over the stairs. "What do you think you did to my kitchen?!"

"Crap," Emmett whispered as he slowly walked downstairs, with us following.

"You'd better start explaining," Carlisle threatened.

"It was all Jasper's fault!" Emmett yelled pointing at Jasper.

"What are you talking about?! You wanted to have this stupid cooking show!" Jasper fought back.

"It was your turn to cook!" Emmett blamed him again.

"Excuse me cooking show?" Carlisle said raising his eyes.

"Uh...yeah..." Emmett gulped.

"And we got it all on video!" Alice added, but stopped when Carlisle glared at her.

"Hand it over," He said holding out his hand.

Alice hesitantly handed over the cassette and backed away into the wall.

"Emmett?" Carlisle said turning towards Emmett who was avoiding his eyes.

"Yes Carlisle?" He said quietly.

"You will clean up this mess, buy a new stove with your money, and never do anything like this again understand?"

"Yes dad," Emmett whispered.

"But Carlisle I didn't get to cook yet!" Alice whined.

"Alice," Carlisle growled.

That shut her up.

"Oh and also, all of you hand over your car keys," Carlisle said holding out his hand.

"WHAT?!"

"NO!"

"NOT HAPPENING!"

"WHAT ARE YOU ON CRACK?!"

".," Carlisle threatened his eyes pitch black.

Everybody handed a set of keys over to him and backed away.

"Your all grounded until further notice," Carlisle said.

"But dad why?!" Edward argued.

"What if Bella was infront of that stove?" Carlisle proved a good point.

"Fine," Everybody huffed and split up across the house.

~Later that Day~

"Hey guys?" Emmett asked as we were sitting around watching BMX on tv.

"What Emmett?" Alice said still annoyed about her car.

"Do you think Carlisle would let us build a dirt bike track in the backyard?" He asked

"NO!"

**_A/N_**

**_Hope everybody enjoyed it!_**


	5. Sequel!

**_A/N_**

**_SEQUEL UP! WOOT WOOT!_**


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